We are shining a light on the Senedd this is due to its failure to being a shining light for Wales!
THE PARASITES THAT INFEST WALES
The Welsh Gazette
Date: December 25th
Headline: “Government Unveils Bold New Plan: Let Corporations Do Everything”
By Staff Reporter
In a stunning display of innovation—or desperation—the Welsh Government today announced its latest strategy for economic growth: handing the keys of the nation to companies described by critics as “parasites with a marketing budget.”
The plan, dubbed Project Symbiosis, promises to “streamline governance” by outsourcing decision-making to firms already writing the policies behind closed doors. “Why pretend anymore?” said one Member of the Senedd - adjusting their gold-plated lanyard. “They’ve been running the show for years. We’re just formalizing it.”
Under the scheme, corporations will receive exclusive rights to infrastructure, healthcare, and even cultural heritage. “We’re confident this will create jobs,” said a spokesperson for Mega Corp Cymru, “mostly for our shareholders.”
“Democracy is cute, but efficiency is sexier,” said Dafydd Price, CEO of Valleys Ventures Ltd, while unveiling a new line of branded oxygen masks for public hospitals.
“We’re not parasites—we’re symbiotic visionaries,” declared Seren Hughes, head of Dragon Dynamics, moments before announcing a £10 fee for breathing clean air in Cardiff.
“The people asked for transparency, so we’ve made our profit margins public. Spoiler: they’re enormous,” laughed Gareth Bowen, CEO of CymruCorp, sipping champagne from a mug labeled ‘Public Interest’.
Opposition leaders expressed concern, noting that the valleys might soon resemble a theme park called ‘Brand Wales™’. However, government insiders dismissed these fears, insisting that “identity is overrated when you’ve got quarterly growth.”
Meanwhile, ordinary citizens are encouraged to participate in the new economy by signing up for loyalty cards that double as voting slips. “Democracy, but make it profitable,” quipped one minister, before boarding a helicopter sponsored by a well-known energy conglomerate.
ITS NO WONDER ITS CALLED CORRUPTION BAY!
Corruption Bay: The Story Behind Cardiff’s Waterfront Transformation
By Investigative Correspondent
Cardiff Bay, now a gleaming waterfront of bars, offices, and apartments, hides a murky past that earned it the nickname “Corruption Bay.” Behind the glossy brochures and regeneration slogans lies a tale of political patronage, opaque deals, and public money flowing into private pockets.
The Timeline of Influence
1981: Associated British Ports (ABP) privatized under Thatcher, leaving the Cardiff docks derelict and ABP with liabilities.
1987: Cardiff Bay Development Corporation (CBDC) created with sweeping powers to regenerate the area. Its board included politically connected figures like Geoffrey Inkin, a former army officer and failed Tory candidate.
Late 1980s–1990s: CBDC used compulsory purchase powers and planning control to reshape the Bay, often favoring developers with close ties to government.
1999: CBDC dissolved. When questions arose about accountability, documents were reportedly “irretrievable,” and collective amnesia set in.
The Players
Nicholas Edwards: Former Welsh Secretary with shipping interests, instrumental in setting up CBDC.
Geoffrey Inkin: Chaired both CBDC and the Land Authority for Wales, giving him influence over land acquisition and planning.
ABP & Developers: Benefited from public investment in infrastructure while liabilities were shifted away.
The Allegations
Critics argue that the regeneration was less about community revival and more about corporate enrichment:
Public Funds, Private Gain: Millions in taxpayer money funded infrastructure that boosted land values for private owners.
Quango Culture: CBDC operated with minimal democratic oversight, described by some as “a government within a government.”
Cultural Erasure: The rebranding from “Tiger Bay” to “Cardiff Bay” was seen as sanitizing a historic multicultural community for corporate aesthetics.
CORRUPTION BAY; The Press Release That Never Was
“We’re thrilled to announce that Wales’ future will be built on transparency, integrity, and the occasional yacht party,” said no one ever. Instead, documents vanished, memories blurred, and the only thing that grew faster than the skyline was the profit margin.
WEEP FOR WALES!
When you look at these First Ministers
The Welsh Waffle: “First Ministers—Masters of Mediocrity!”
By Our Political Gossip Desk
Wales’ First Ministers: the job description says “lead the nation,” but history suggests it really means “keep the seat warm and hope nobody notices.” From Alun Michael’s blink-and-you-miss-it reign to Vaughan Gething’s spectacular crash-and-burn, the Senedd has been a revolving door of ambition, scandal, and… well, mostly disappointment.